i guess, i'll go home

by joebryant.

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about

Sorry, for the short notice on this one it just sort of happened. Recorded with an old 4-track machine whilst sleep deprived in some clammy basement.

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released March 17, 2014

All songs written and recorded by: Joseph Bryant(BMI)
All Rights Reserved West Clark Records 2014

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Track Name: calling everyone out, i'm sorry
(watch Catch 22)

well, jeni had a diary she called it shitty memories, we spent every night walking and talking about what we could be. she broke steven's heart with a speeding car he woke up hard and forgot how to restart. well, fact or fiction it's all just friction, hey steven at least you still have your heart(at all).

gianni wrote a song about how love would find him, i guess it pays off to be an optimist because it did. well, victoria take care of gianni i'm sorry for writing you off. but you know i'm bad at saying anything good about anyone or love or anything at all. i just spend my time as a downer, a bummer to all.

yeah, sami keep your head up over there in alton, you'll be alright (but) if you're feeling down or depressed send me a line i'll try to reply. and someone will find you, i hope, (i mean) it's not like i could know. but just this next time please, take it easy, take it slow. if you want to get some coffee just hit me or mikey, i'm sure we'll be down, (but) i mean i can't really speak for him anyways.

and taylor i've written too many songs about you, it's not like i regret or anything like that. i just have too much to say about how bad last july sucked. well, maybe i can bury underneath the rest of this tapes hiss.

well, calling me a bleeding heart liberal (or that) i just have too many stories. i write it all out in a shitty diary. and it's all the same if i just write a song about it and move on. we'll play hide and go seek, or turn the lights off and hide under sheets. the time we spent together and the time i spent alone, it's all the same because it's (either) love or not enough. and i give up on waiting for anything because it's better to wait, to be something more than you are.

and tiffany it's not like i'm really that upset. i'm just not over it i swear that you still exist. and maybe i can bury you down under the rest of this tape hiss. just next time the next guy try not to lie. because no one likes a thief or a liar, you broke my heart and i had to write a song to start... moving on it's all the same if i move on, now.

as you can see if you're in love or broken hearted, it's all the same. we all still think about the same shit everyday. it's all the same if we just write songs about it, maybe it'll make things better but it probably won't anyway...
Track Name: donnie starko
jennifer wanted to be a philosopher, she'd walk around all day at school acting she knew the world. well what, it was the way that they would laugh at her. They laughed at her face then twenty years later realized. that jennifer was the kind of girl that became more attractive after high school. but she just wanted someone to see eye to eye with her and her beloved socrates.

felicia was the girl that scored all the boys, she's now sitting at home alone with her toys. with blankets and fast food wrappers cluttering her floors. it's because she never really reached for more. well, if she'd reached for more she wouldn't be so god damn bored. well, she just realized that her life was better as a whore.

well, break bad and get mad and stop being so fucking sad. we'll break bad get mad stopping so fucking sad. be happy with what you already have.

jimmy wanted to fall in love, he used to write songs to girls about how they were enough. well, he wasn't worth their time. he wasn't worth his weight in gold and all alone jimmy put a gun to his head and said maybe i'm just so fucking done with everything.

so break bad and get mad and stop being so fucking sad. we'll break bad get mad and stop fucking sad. we'll be happy with exactly what we have.

donnie wanted to be a philosopher then his eyes turned inward and he saw jennifer. they were higher than the moon in the back of a van. wondering if the world was more than just a bore or a stiff. as stiff as the suits that looked down on them. yeah, they look down on free thought and free action.

so break bad and get mad and stop being so fucking sad. we'll break bad and get mad and stop fucking sad. we'll put our hands up and we'll say enough's enough. because we're alright with exactly what we have. fuck your capitalistic schemes, they'll be the same without you and me. so break bad and get mad and stop being so fucking sad. we'll break bad get mad and stop fucking sad. because enough is enough and enough is what we have. so quit being so fucking sad we've got what we need. so break bad and get mad and stop being so fucking sad. we'll break bad get mad and stop fucking sad. we'll be happy with exactly what we have.
Track Name: i swear to tell less than the truth
i spent the last minute, well more like two, trying to pick up and keep up on what to do. about this blown speaker and what to do with you. with a two month old riverfront times, my black cold coffee, and a stale camel light. i fell in love with you as you sang along with anodyne.

maybe you could come by some other time, maybe i could catch the next damn flight, leave lambert airport and be in your eyes. so all's well that ends with waiting in line. your empathetic gestures to my right. my convoluted contextual mixtures to make this rhyme.

well, newspapers cigarettes and caffeine, they almost go hand in hand it'd seem. just like that possibility of you and me, if not for the handfuls of codeine and fallacy. well they keep tugging, they keep pulling, they keep pulling apart everything. maybe i'll just sing myself back to sleep.

can i just come see you sometime? i'll sing you to sleep for about a week. and i'm not asking for your intamacy, just sometime alone with you next to me. we could watch bad tv or sing along to speechwriters llc. and all i know is that i want to wake up with a warm body next me. instead off...

newspapers cigarettes and caffeine, they almost go hand in hand it'd seem. just like that possibility of you and me, if not for the handfuls of codeine and fallacy. well they keep tugging, they keep pulling, they keep pulling apart everything. maybe i'll just continue to sing myself back to sleep.
Track Name: polka dotted underwear
well, i liked the way you used to keep your long black hair. and loved the way you used to glance at me when you were just standing there waiting for someone to come. yeah, i was the one but you were out of luck because i was the one that swore i didn't believe in love.

and i wonder if you wonder where i was the day you left. yeah, i wonder if you wonder where i was the day you came back. well, i didn't care you were standing there done all uptight in your underwear. no you didn't care you were standing there done all uptight in your underwear.

now that i'm gone i wonder where i went the day that i decided to go away. when you go back to your tomb do ever wonder what happened and why. well, i guess you never really thought it through because you left this son-of-a-bitch without saying goodbye.

and i wonder if you wonder where i was the day you left. yeah, i wonder if you wonder where i was the day you came back. well, i didn't care you were standing there done all uptight in your underwear. no you didn't care you were standing there done all uptight in your polka dotted underwear.

well, you know i wrote this song because i love to see you when you smile. and you know i'll do the best i can because you know i haven't seen you quite a while. well, you were the one but i was of luck because you were the one that fell out of love.

and i wonder if you wonder where i was the day you left. yeah, i wonder if you wonder where i was the day you came back. well, i didn't care you were standing there done all uptight in your underwear. no you didn't care you were standing there done all uptight in your underwear. i said i'll never care you were standing there done all uptight in your polka dotted underwear.
Track Name: lucky me, right?
well, lucky me right? i've got everything i need. the only thing that misses me as much as you is my bed. well, lucky me, right? i've got a broken string and a ball point pen. yeah, i've given a lot of though to everything we could do, so without a further adieu....

well, lucky me, right? i've got a broken string in my bedroom. well lucky me i got my time with you. lucky me i've got everything i'll ever need. well lucky for you you've got nothing better to do.

lucky me i've got 60,000 miles under my skin, and lucky for you you've got 3,000 miles left in my pen. of course, i get a little drunk off of all of our conversations. like a small mouse in a clock with a small heart it makes it click makes it tock. well, lucky luck lucky me, right? "Maybe?"

well, lucky me right? i've got everything i need. the only thing that misses me as much as you is my bed. well, lucky me, right? i've got a bedroom and a pen and someone for me to sing about again.

well lucky us right? we've got everything we'd need take out food and some reruns on toonami. well lucky us right? i've got the time that we'd spend. and luckily you've got room for me in your head. well, lucky for me i am alone with you again.

well lucky us right? we've got everything we'd need and luckily we've got take out chinese and toonami. and of course i got a little plastered waiting for you to arrive. maybe i'll spend some time alone with you again.
Track Name: i still (sort of) remember everything
i remember head down after i found out that manna was a hell of a drug. and i remember in the backseat hair down as you began to fall asleep. yeah, i remember all the words we used to sing when we were barely eighteen. before i started to runaway from you and everything. you said; "darling we'll make this work out we'll make it work somehow" and i said; "baby i'm only going to mother fucking let you down, so..."

i remember head down after i found out that mollie was a hell of a drug. yeah, it got me dizzy it got me think of all the things i could be. like how i wish i could be the star that went on top of your christmas tree or the night light or the keepsake that you always depended on. or the brew that you always drank and were so co-dependent on. so, you can count on me, you can count on me, you can't count on me, you can count on me to split!

i wish i could stop ripping off other bands all the time. well, no matter how hard i try i can't be ohio on hi. so, you bring the cheap vodka i'll bring the cigarettes and darling we can waste tonight laying in bed making another regret singing...

and all that time was the same if it was mine. and i'd give every second and every minute for you to be here... 'cause i remember head down after i found out that you were a hell of a drug. and i remember my eyes as they dilated as you came close to me. i remember your mouth as you began to sing along with... what's so simple in the moonlight by morning never is, and you always look best when you are with me." well, what's so simple in the moonlight, so simple in the moonlight, so simple in the moonlight, by morning...well it won't exist.
Track Name: little league sign ups
it was the last six years of my life... ahh shit
the last six years of my life.. holy shit

the last six months of my life were the last six years of yours. i had nothing to do but to reassure. and you had nothing better and i said i could be better. and you thought that i meant that i could be there. well, i didn't know that i had the time now, to show you that it's worth the time. and i didn't know that you weren't coming home.

the last six months of my life were the last six years of yours, and you thought that i knew how to open old doors. once they've been shut babe it's all the same, well get away. but all i had was reason and you called it treason. i gave you hope for at least another day. and i'm glad that you came home.
Track Name: play it safe, write yourself off
we woke up one morning and all decided to die. we felt awake we fell asleep we wondered why. i'd rather play it safe just love and give back. but it's all the same if we just write ourselves off. kill ourselves nightly with the bottles that we find.

well, jeni had a shitty diary she wrote down all of her memories of boys that she hated for ripping out her heart. and all that time she spend alone with me in the hallways. we'd walk around to class and say that we were all okay.

and jeni broke steven's heart and he didn't know how to start. he woke up one day and fell off his chair. he said he wasn't insane, said he couldn't move on but we all know that steven's got a heart, he's got too much heart to last him his entire lifetime.

yeah, gianni used to write songs about how love would find him. i guess, it worked out when he found victoria. i guess, it's the same if he would've found anyone else. but if it's the same then victoria, i guess you are kind of a great gal.

on the otherside of the mississippi sami keep your head up. it'll be the same next year, so you don't have to be so wrapped up. it's insane but it's all what we became. it's all what we do with these drinking games and it's all over now.

well, mikey wrote an entire ep about madisen and how she tore him apart... i mean i don't know what i've started...

guys, i guess, i'll be back next year when everything's the same. it won't be what i thought but i still play these games as when june on the west coast became my new favorite song and i stole every riff that i know from that record.
Track Name: smoking reburns
well, just like my cigarette you're tossed out and you're set aside. you're trapped in thin white paper. then you're lit up for five minutes then left to die. you're still burnt out without ever putting up a fight. and you say you've made friends and that they are the same ideas as you. until they were stolen then your sadness had returned then grew. yeah, you're still burnt out without ever putting up a fight. you say you've found the love of your life, and that he's the greatest person well that you've ever met. but when he used you did you take the time to ask him why. you were mine once and throwing you away was my only regret. but i swear to god that you were my last goddamn cigarette. but i'm still burnt out without putting up a fight. so go hang out with your new friends, yeah? i'm sure they use you in the end. and go hang out with your new boy and i'm sure he'll throw you back in his ashtray. because we all burn out without putting up a fight.
Track Name: drunk living rooms and drunk guitars
I never was anyone and I didn't have much of anything.
You had everything that you thought you could need
And I wasn't anything

Yeah, I wasn't what you were looking for
And I wasn't what you had anymore
You said that I could close the door
But I never held a door in the first place, amore

You had everything you thought you needed
And I had everything I needed in you
I could've went for another round
But you weren't making any sound

I was never much of anything
I wasn't much in love you anyways
So I went home

You had everything you'd need , hey you even had me
But we couldn't go another round....

Cause I left you alone there all by yourself
And bed made of sand and lies
Track Name: passion fruit
i recollect the things i used to read at night, before falling backwards never seemed to feel so alright. i had never felt lonely until your eyes met mine. i know it's crappy but at least i'm fine. i have bukowski and robbins to fill my time, and i'll sing along with sirens as they go by. if you're wondering anything now don't ask why, i've been mentioning our bed but i'm always neglecting to mention your side.

i remember when we had better things in my head, before all my closest friends were inanimate objects. they speak to me in strange and foreign dialects, that i'm just a second guess never the safe bet, and i'm only saying that i hope you find him.

i couldn't ask why but i think i'm better off sleep deprived. rather than trying to make sense of senseless fights. said goodbye i meant goodnight to the onsetting sunrise, pouring in my basement's door i still miss all of your stupid lies. all the time i wonder if you lay awake at night. count your stars as vacancy fills in bloodshot eyes. god it's hard for me to admit i still miss you all the time. but at least that i know i'll be fine.

i remember when we had better things in my head, before all my closest friends were inanimate objects. they speak to me in strange and foreign dialects, that i'm just a second guess never the safe bet, and i'm only saying that i hope you find him.

(i hope you find it again, yeah you'll find him)

i remember when we had better things in my head, before all my closest friends were inanimate objects. they speak to me in strange and foreign dialects, that i'm just a second guess never the safe bet, and i'm only saying that i hope you find...
Track Name: i know, right? i know...
Two bus tickets to Chicago please, I need to get away from home. To play these stupid songs for people I'll never get know. Well, I ate my pity for breakfast fell asleep happily alone. Almost every night I spent with was a reminder that the books are always overdue. And I won't fantasize how love might be true, they'll romanticize to the point of suicide. Maybe I should cheer up and give up on what they thought we could be taught. Well, fuck Romeo and Juliet because you don't need love to be happy.

Just someone to stay up with after 15 cups of coffee. If it's three am and you're alone be happy you have a home. Some friends to talk to about all of the unknowns. Well, maybe I should head back to St. Louis. Then we can sit by the riverside counting on fireflies we'll laugh and we'll cry. Just to remember that we are still alive and that we can survive with some good friends by our side. For these late nights I guess the Pigeons know best the best place to be is home.
Track Name: hey thanks for nothing
Well, winters in the Midwest and it's always hard to stay your best. Even when everyone seems to be so happy everyone here always looks depressed. I guess it's the way the trees always seem to be dead. Well look at this way at least we're all still living. well hey, hey thanks for listening!

So, if you headed for the west coast, would you say you didn't feel so alone. Then you found an upstroke you said it made everything seem ok. Oh, wait I think you're still down. Well, we'll be here to pick you up, hey thank for staying!

You asked why does everyone here have to look depressed. I couldn't reply so i had to give it my best. I said we're all waiting for more but we only get less. But hey at least you came home, at least you came home, well hey, at least you came home!

Hey thanks for sticking around, this god forsaken town. Yeah, thanks for sticking around, even though we're all still looking for a way out. and yeah thanks for sticking around because it wouldn't be the same without you here, but you got out of here. so hey thanks for not listening!

hey thanks for listening